


it only took a moment (to be loved)

by antpelts



Series: Dear Emma Hansen [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: College, Dancing and Singing, Dorks in Love, Established Relationship, Fluff, Love Confessions, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Jared Kleinman, Other, Post-Canon, Singing, Slow Dancing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trans Evan Hansen, Trans Female Character, Trans Female Evan Hansen, Trans Jared Kleinman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25853581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antpelts/pseuds/antpelts
Summary: “Sorry I’ve just- I’ve never, y’know, done this?”“Me either,” Jared replied easily, though his eyebrows rose in amusement. “‘s not like we were really getting asked to school dances or anything.”// my trans girl evan au makes an appearance! welcome emma hansen!
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman
Series: Dear Emma Hansen [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913050
Comments: 17
Kudos: 25





	it only took a moment (to be loved)

**Author's Note:**

> hi i love emma hansen :') there will be a fic for how these two got together eventually im working on. also jared is nonbinary and uses he/they. emma is a photo major and jared is doing theater/music :'') was expanded on a request for emma and jared dancing yall have zoe to thank for this one
> 
> songs used:  
> miracle of miracles  
> her is  
> youre the one that i want  
> ill cover you  
> suddenly seymour  
> it only takes a moment

“Sorry I’ve just- I’ve never, y’know, done this?”

“Me either,” Jared replied easily, though his eyebrows rose in amusement. “‘s not like we were really getting asked to school dances or anything.”

“Shut up,” Emma huffed with a good natured eye roll. Her expression cracked into a shy grin when Jared took her hands, walking her backwards towards the center of the living room.

“I try to be nice and this is how you repay me?”

It earned a snort of laughter from Emma and she shook her head fondly before pulling her hands away, instead looping her arms around Jared’s neck. Her movements were careful. Deliberate. One hand gently brushed over the hair on the back of his head and he couldn’t help but lean into the touch as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

“It’s real sweet,” she murmured, lips twitching into a fond smile, “you’re sweet.”

“You’re pretty,” Jared responded without missing a beat, glancing up as he unlocked his phone. It sent a warm pang through Emma’s chest - every time she heard it she swore it was as good as the first. Before she could fidget under his soft gaze he reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear. She thought she could pass out right there, slightly leaning her head into the touch. Suddenly there was noise playing and Jared was leaning to set his phone on the coffee table before gently settling his hands on her waist.

“Are you serious,” she nodded her head down towards his phone which was currently playing fucking _Miracle of Miracles._ Jared had played the whole _Fiddler on the Roof_ album for her when they were in middle school and she’d decided this was her favorite song. This, of course, led to them jumping around Jared’s room and him panting as he tried to hit all the notes as he sang it to her, trying to keep up with the new Broadway cast recording playing off his laptop. In hindsight they probably should have realized _something_ because of that.

When Jared was pressing forward she easily stepped back, moving with him. It wasn’t really the most conducive song to try and slow dance to but.. It was sort of their song, she supposed. The thing was, though, that they had a _lot_ of songs as it turned out. A lot of silly little tunes from cast albums that they’d latched onto and- _Really._ It was a wonder how they didn’t realize some things sooner.

Their swaying was almost wiggling as Emma couldn’t choke back her laughter - they practically just rocked around, trying to match the pace. Whenever it slowed down a little bit Jared attempted to twirl her and they both stumbled slightly, trying to untangle enough to perform it.

She knew it was coming but it still made her eyes tear up when Jared’s voice started up, so small and soft, “ But of all God's miracles large and small, the most miraculous one of all-”

Emma swore she could break down just like that - Jared loved to play up his tone, he loved to be goofy and get nasally and twangy and she _loved_ it but.. He could also drop his voice so sweet and quieter than one might think he could ever be.

“-Is the one I thought could never be.” She felt her throat get tight, lips quivering a little as Jared moved a hand to gently cup her cheek. “God has given you to me.”

“Me,” she choked it out at the same time as him, though as she held the note it wavered and she cut out early, seeing the shimmer of tears building up in his eyes in response to her own.

 _Miracle of Miracles_ faded out and Emma couldn’t help but laugh again, forehead dropping to rest on Jared’s shoulder as the familiar beats of _Her Is_ started up and Jared _knew_ what he was doing because he was immediately launching into it. It was a specific playlist and Jared knew what was coming. It made her heart soar.

“I wouldn't never tell this to nobody else but you, to nobody else but you I wouldn't never tell this,” Jared played up his nasally tone this time, brows drawing together with a huge grin falling over his lips, “what I mean to say is, you're different from the rest. Baby, you're the best!”

Emma felt like she could faint. Jared cut her some slack, dropping off on his singing to just tug her around, spinning in sloppy circles with her. They stumbled a bit, wheezing with laughter. After a minute Jared couldn’t help it, their palms were pressed together, fingers laced and he swung their arms lazily, leaning in a little, “isn’t her?”

“Her is,” Emma replied immediately, shyly.

They faded between laughing and singing as _Her Is_ crescendoed to its end. Jared dropped one of her hands and swung to the side, unfolding their embrace until they created an unbroken line with their bodies, connected in the middle by their hands. As the next song started up Emma couldn’t help but laugh at the twangy beat, snorting a little as Jared raised and lowered his eyebrows. He was tugging her back in, connecting their other hands and walking her backwards towards the kitchen. As they all but bounced across the apartment he urged her to twist, using his grip on her hands to do it with her, shaking his shoulders, pushing back and forth with the beat. She followed easily - she’d follow him anywhere.

“I got chills,” he drew it out, urging his voice to spike up in pitch to get Emma to break into giggles - it worked. “They’re multiplyin’!”

They disconnected their hands and Jared did a little spin before sliding across the tile on his socks, throwing his arms in a flourish. Emma took the moment to just _look_ at him - he’d told her to dress simple but nice. He had jeans on, a black shirt layered with a floral button up, and mismatched patterned socks. It was all him. 

When she met his eyes again he stuck his arms out towards her as he belted out the rest of his verse, urging her on to take the next part.

“You better shape up!” Emma settled hands on her hips, giving a half turn and looking at him over her shoulder, a challenge in her eyes, “‘cause I need a.. man?”

There was a falter - she knew Jared didn’t mind gendered terms but also her need to provide her support the same as he did his had her pausing. He _had_ called himself a ‘nonbinary guy’ so she hoped there wasn’t any implications that came with her following the song. In the end she seemed to be over thinking because he folded in a bit, that dorky machine gun laugh slipping out. That was all the reassurance she needed.

“-heart is set on you!” She struggled to catch back up after the little slip, giving her shoulders a little shake.

“Your heart is set on me?” He cooed back in that pretty little high note he could reach, popping his collar and tipping his head with a lopsided grin.

“You better shape up!” Emma called again, spinning on one foot so that the skirt of her floral high waisted sundress flared out and twisted around her a little from its momentum before settling back into place. “You better understand, to my heart I must be true!”

And she was. She really was.

Because here was Jared Kleinman - her boyfriend - lit up from an excess of fairy lights strung through the open floor plan of his apartment. The only other light came from a dim bulb above the stove, casting a tungsten tone over them. She wished she had her camera, even if it’d never do him justice, because she wanted to live in this moment forever.

They slid back and forth over the tiles before he caught her hands in his own, urging her to lean back on her heels, mirroring him as they gave a spin. Held up by their opposing forces.

“You better prove that my faith is justified!”

He had.

He proved it every day.

“Are you sure?”

There was something soft there, his brows pinched affectionately. She barely caught it under the low light.

“Yes, I'm sure down deep inside.” Jared let her take the part alone, not joining her as she spoke the line. 

She was.

Sure, that is.

As the song tapered off she perked up as Jared crossed the tiled floor, reaching out his hands that she took gratefully. The next song picked up and it took her a second to place it, she wasn’t _as_ familiar with _Rent_ but she was always a sucker for love songs. Her memory for lyrics wasn’t as strong as Jared’s so she wasn’t immediately jumping in. Though, Jared didn’t seem to mind, softly covering the second part even without her lead.

“Just slip me on,” he sang softer, the songs were slower now - more conducive to their careful swaying. He spun her until her back was pressed to his chest, their arms both wrapped around her, hands connected happily. “I’ll be your blanket.”

Emma couldn’t help but melt, letting out a breathy little laugh as she leaned against his chest. They swayed a little like that, the skirt of her dress waving gently.

“Wherever, whatever. I’ll be your coat.”

Jared spun her again, untangling them and swinging their arms, still connected by their hands. Their torsos swayed, mirroring each other as they lazily shook their shoulders in tandem, pushing hands back and forth, palms pressed together. A tide gently urged on by each other’s moonlight.

“I've longed to discover, something as true as this is,” Emma cut in to join him, and he tugged her close, leaning to gently bump their noses together. She couldn’t help but laugh a bit, smile pulling so wide her eyes crinkled at the corners.

“Oh lover.” Emma’s voice died off at the end as Jared sang the words that last time. Something about his voice fell so sweetly over her, leaving her just blinking at him. A fondness crashed over her and she pressed their foreheads together, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. Their fingers untangled and she draped arms over his shoulders, pulling away to just _look_ at him. His own arms loosely circled her waist, a palm pressing to the small of her back in a way that made her knees weak. Ever so softly she moved her hands to fix his collar, smoothing it back down.

As sweet as it was she couldn’t help how her eyes lit up as _I’ll Cover You_ faded out and the next song faded in. Now this was something she was plenty familiar with, the gentle piano immediately sending a little pang right to her heart. They rocked in slow circles, one of Jared’s hands carefully reaching up to cup the side of her face. His thumb brushed over her cheek and she felt the sting of tears immediately as Jared’s voice picked up.

“Lift up your head, wash off your mascara,” Jared lifted up into his head voice, hitting the notes a little higher than he needed to, voice dripping with a honeyed fondness. “Here take my Kleenex, wipe that lipstick away.”

Emma couldn’t help a weak breath of a laugh, lip quivering as it curled further into a smile. She saw the wet shimmer of her own eyes reflected in Jared’s. To keep from cracking he let his eyes fall shut, brows drawing together fondly.

“Show me your face clean as the mornin’,” his voice was barely above a whisper, cracking into a tremulous tone before he corrected it, “I know things were bad, but now they’re okay.”

With that ‘okay’ he slipped into a little more of a falsetto, voice getting breathy. He let his voice drop back down a little as he picked up the next verse, his hand sliding to the back of her head and urging her to press their foreheads together again. It was utterly overwhelming, to get this side of Jared. It was all her’s.

“Sweet understanding, Seymour's your friend.”

It took her a second to pull in a shuddering breath, leaning away to compose herself before picking up Audrey’s verse, barely hitting the entrance of it as Jared’s verses faded.

“Nobody ever treated me kindly. Daddy left early, mamma was poor,” her voice caught and she barely held herself together, only grounded by Jared’s fingers twirling her hair lazily on the back of her head. For her second verse she pulled away, slipping out of his grasp and turning a bit on her heel, facing away now. She let her voice pick up, her volume increasing as the words got stronger.

“Sweet understanding, Seymour's my friend,” her voice careened as she softened again, clasping her hands in front of herself. Jared was cutting in again with his own lyrics and soon they were tossing verses back and forth. She took a few steps before spinning back to face him, throwing her arms out to let them swing at her sides as her skirt flared out.

When they met eyes again it was like everything fell into place, the next bit falling easily from them, overlapping and curling together, connecting as perfectly as their own hands always did.

“The girl that’s inside me.”

“The girl that’s inside you.”

Emma’s voice cracked into a short sob, it all hit her at once. Those afternoons in seventh grade, they’d get home and rush to Jared’s room, playing all their favorite show tunes one after the other. She’d always had a fondness for _Little Shop of Horrors_ and the softness of _Suddenly Seymour_ had always drawn her in. Jared offered to switch off parts with her - back then she didn’t even know who she was - saying she didn’t have to sing the ‘girl’s part’ every time. She’d insisted, saying Audrey’s part was better. Every time they’d hit that part, every time she heard Jared gently call out along with her own voice, ‘the girl that’s inside you’, it had always made something in her chest tighten.

She missed the next few lines, hearing Jared’s own voice falter a little as he managed softly, “with sweet understanding.”

“With sweet understanding.”

“With sweet understanding.”

Emma choked back another noise, shoulder’s shaking as Jared crept back into her bubble, hands raising up to cup either side of her face, brushing away the few stray tears. He was able to keep himself a little more composed now that they were older. There was a slight wetness to his face, though.

“Seymour’s my man,” Emma’s voice was weak, shuddering.

“Seymour’s your man.”

The little hum of horns at the end rang out, the crash of symbols, and it faded out. 

“Wait, got one more good one,” Jared whispered and Emma nodded, drawing in a sharp breath. A shaky smile crossed her lips and she leaned into Jared’s hands before they were pulling away, moving to hold onto her own. He took a half step back, swinging their arms lazily as soft orchestral sounds rang out in the apartment. He slowly walked backwards, pulling her back into the living room where it was louder. She braced herself, trying to place the song. Jared’s voice finally picked up and she felt herself ready to crack again.

“It only takes a moment, for your eyes to meet and then..” Jared’s voice picked up sweetly, higher pitched than the recording. Their palms pressed together, fingers intertwining on instinct. They met eyes, straining in the dim light to truly take in the other. “Your heart knows in a moment, you will never be alone again.”

Emma tipped her head to the side, bangs shifting in how they swept over her forehead, strands caught in the light. Jared would later tell her she was glowing in that moment. The lingering wetness on her cheeks glimmered, matching Jared’s.

“I held her for an instant, but my arms felt sure and strong,” there was a purposeful waver to the words, tone oscillating softly, “it only takes a moment, to be loved a whole life long.”

Their hands fell apart as Jared stepped back, spinning on one foot and throwing his arms up as the lyrics dropped into spoken words. He turned away from her, laying a hand over his chest, calling out, “Isn’t the world full of wonderful things?”

Emma was sure of it, looking at him.

“I’ve lost so many things,” he let his shoulders slump dramatically as he faced her again, pressing the back of one hand to his forehead, “my job, my future. Everything that people think is important - but I don’t care!”

This time she couldn’t help but laugh from his performance, from the theatrics. 

“‘Cause even if I have to dig ditches for the rest of my life,” Jared perked up, voice strong as he swung his arm a little, closing his hand into a fist and holding it near his chest. His brows creased and he squeezed his eyes shut, tipping his chin up a little, “I should be a ditch digger who once had a wonderful day!”

Emma snorted this time, unable to bite back her laughter as the rest of the little verse played out. Jared grinned back at her, peeking an eye open, pleased at the reaction. Carefully he approached her again, pausing to hold his arms out. She easily stepped into them, feeling the gentle weight comfortably around her waist. They held each other’s gazes, not breaking as Emma loosely brought her arms up around his neck, one hand pressing to the back of his head. Fingers lightly brushed the short hair he had there.

“He held me,” she started softly, “for an instant.”

Jared’s hold tightened a little, palms pressing to her back.

“But his arms, felt safe and strong,” her pitch rose a little, wavering with emotion, “it only.. takes a moment. To be loved a whole life long.”

“And that is all, that love’s about,” Jared’s voice was warm, as warm as his hands. His breath mixed with her’s as their foreheads pressed together.

“And we’ll recall, when time runs out..” The words cracked a little on the higher pitch. She swallowed thickly, keeping composure.

“That it only,” Jared’s voice fell over her’s like a warm blanket, “took a moment, to be loved..”

On the slight beat after the words they both took in a sharp breath, steadying themselves.

“A whole.. life.. long.”

Neither of them could properly hold the note - Emma let out a strangled noise while Jared tapered off into a sniffle. A silence settled over the room, Jared’s little playlist coming to a soft ending. Her breath shuddered but she was able to marginally hold herself together.

“How’d I do?” 

Emma couldn’t help but laugh, her eyes falling shut as a few tears fell off her face. She couldn’t possibly quantify how much this all had meant to her - what Jared meant to her. But she tried.

“Much better than prom. Probably. Wouldn’t know.” 

It was Jared’s turn to laugh a little, short and breathy, before he was turning his head. Their noses bumped before he was able to get the angle, slotting their lips together. It was a moment that seemed like a lifetime and when they separated another few tears dripped off her cheeks. Jared matched her, his own lip quivering a little. 

Emma couldn’t help but replay his words over and over - it was just a song but his voice was so soft and sweet. She had to take the chance. The moment.

“I love you.” Her voice faltered, dropping to a strained whisper. She had never been more sure of herself.

“I love you.” He met her easily, his voice was somehow equal parts steady and weak.

They were kissing again and Emma was sure it was more than a song. It was their own moment. And she was sure of one more thing:

She’d be loved a whole life long.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos n comments mean the world


End file.
